sun in virgo

flapprsdieyoung @ 2005-09-05T20:44:00

2005-09-06T00:42:26Z

wooooaah, mane.

im into not updating livejournals for seven hundred years.

you should be too.

because livejournals are so three years ago.

anyway.

fuck. im obviously this bored.

going to watch laguna beach with courtney and talk shit about the blonde girls in it and how stupid they are even though i am, on some level, a dumb blonde as well.

i have a yellow toothbrush too

2004-12-14T07:39:52Z

im cold.
and tired.
and earlier i felt super sad.
but then joel and i played video games.
and last night we made a fort.
and watched skate videos in the fort.
and went sledding.

and i decided that if i could have any wish ever it would to be an amazing skateboarder and be able to totally eat shit and then get up and get back on my board laughing. then i would have like...a million boyfriends.

yeah! skateboarding videos with joel!

2004-12-13T04:44:27Z

courtney and i just ate so much food it was sick. candy and taco bell and bagel crisps and cookies.....

flapprsdieyoung @ 2004-12-07T00:36:00

2004-12-07T05:34:30Z

oooh....coconut rum and orange juice.

neosporin is kind of gross.

YOUR HEART IS COLD!

2004-12-04T02:22:27Z

i feel better now.
my feet are falling asleep.
maybe when i get home i'll drink the rest of that whiskey.
i need to stop being so sensitive. taking things to heart.
i miss erin and i havent seen her in about....two hours. seriously two fucking hours.
i want someone to take pictures of me.
erin will you take pictures of me? like you said....
and maybe i'll draw her topless again. ha.
my feet are fucking numb.
im going to smoke a cigarette now.
my feet feel like bricks.
i miss my mom. and my brothers. and skateboards.
maybe i'll just start skating myself.
ha. yeah right. i fucking wish.
maybe amanda and i really will start skating. or at least try.
ah fuck..my fucking feet. this is the worst feeling.
oh and i've decided that it DOES prove that we are tough girls. CRAZY tough girls..but tough girls regardless.

flapprsdieyoung @ 2004-12-03T20:30:00

2004-12-04T01:34:54Z

watching cable tv. oohhh such a luxury these days. dropped my digits tonight...to a gangsta...sort of. ha.

i feel kind of homesick.

and bored.

im debating. im not sure. would it make things better or worst? and plus im kind of scared. i dont think i know you anymore. but i always think the worst anyway. who knows.

im definitly proud of myself for that one. way to go.

2004-11-26T23:12:26Z

im dressed in all black an' i feel like a ninja.

first day of work today. it went alright i suppose.

dont want to drink tonight. but i wouldnt mind smoking.

erin's trying to get me to do yoga.

thanksgiving was fun. we smoked pot then i made red skin garlic mashed potatoes and erin made cornbread and amanda made pumpkin pie which we ate with vanilla ice cream. amanda was serious about the occasion running around saying "THIS IS THANKSGIVING!! ITS IMPORTANT!! DONT YOU KNOW??" then gave us the evil eye when erin and i took off our skirts. then she took off her skirt too and ate in her tights and belt. then i said that i love that we're girls because i feel like there are stars and hearts floating around our heads and so then we cut out stars and hearts and hung them from the ceiling over the table. then we went to bed.

i think we're going to go do laundry now. bye.

flapprsdieyoung @ 2004-11-24T15:27:00

2004-11-24T20:32:06Z

not only do amanda and i live together. we also work together. i know, i know. it's sick.

our first day is friday.

i am so ridiculously sick. all ive done for the last two days is lay in my bed and cry. i have a horrible headache and fever. but whats the worst is my throat. it hurts SOOOO bad to swallow. SOOOO bad. i hate it. its awful. not to mention i feel kind of sad.

but other than being sick im doing pretty good.

i go to bakeries all day long. there's a lack of sweetness in my life.

just stop this already

2004-11-17T21:18:35Z

and i still just cant seem to forget. even though its been sooooo long and perhaps it seems a little longer than it really has been. sometimes it seems like it was all just another story i made up in my head. maybe it was. i would rather it have been.

oh yeah.
im disappointed by the lack of boys wearing girl jeans in kalamazoo. this makes it a lot more difficult to find a boy to like.

flapprsdieyoung @ 2004-11-16T13:50:00

2004-11-16T18:51:37Z

i live in kalamazoo now.

i like it.

but i dont like being so sick.

and i dont like it when my parents cry because i moved away.
i just had to get away. i just had to.
you understand.

ten days til her birthday.

2004-10-07T20:12:19Z

in kalamazoo. what kind of a name is that?

mmmmmmmmm....we say we're going to move here.

we're looking for a place with a big porch.

and neighbors that smoke weed.

but for now we're just wondering what we'll drink tonight.

oh yeah. you're stupid and confusing. and confused. but im not so HA.

this one beats "you look like christina aguilera. be my genie in a bottle."

2004-09-27T20:36:03Z

HE: you gotta boyfriend?
ME: uh...sort of kind of not really.
HE: you still fucking?
ME:.......uhm....
HE: well here is my number. mines bigger than his.

something in a city called chicago

2004-09-27T19:05:12Z

last night after finding out her drug dealer died (crushed to death in a car, drunk driving probably) we drank fourties of colt 45 and smoked black and milds. "cheers" we said "to black people" we played our music loudly and danced and danced and danced ridiculously. just me and her. after we finished the alcohol we decided to go outside. we walked across the field ("look out for syringes" she warned) and across the bridge ("you should avoid coming up here when you're sad" i said) that went over the freeway. we were going to the water. the strong winds made the waves really high. i cant even begin to describe how beautiful they were. they rode the cement hard and loud until the point where they could not ride any longer. so instead they shot up in the air probably twenty feet. sometimes we happend to be directly under and inside of them. sometimes they shot up just in front of us. sometimes they crept up and exploded behind us. we were being hunted by the waves. they swallowed us whole and pulled us towards the lake. we resisted, screamed and held onto each other. she lost a shoe. me-a hat. shaking from the cold air and soaked from the cold water we stood on the rocks and watched this battle. waves vs. cement. the lake had tricked us into believing it was an ocean, moody and angry, ready to take its revenge out on anything present. we were still dripping by the time we got back to the apartment. we left pools of water in the elevator. i threw my clothes in a wet pile on the floor and fell asleep. nothing covering me except a heavy blanket. oh yeah...you called. twice. of course, i didnt answer.

i have brown hair.

flapprsdieyoung @ 2004-09-15T19:30:00

2004-09-15T23:31:55Z

so all i know how to do is be sad and heartbroken anymore.

"i was an angel. i was an angel." she cried. " i used to be an angel."

2004-07-09T05:46:44Z

i guess im not in the mood to drink after all. daffa pats my head. the cigarette smoke follows you wherever you go. when i get home i want to draw pictures. pictures of us. but i'll probably be too tired. i have to work at nine A.M. i like wearing your jeans. and your shoes. but i hate it when we fight. and i hate it when you dont kiss me goodbye. charis and i are going to chicago. we are taking the train and we will wear scarves on our heads and i will blow kalamazoo a kiss when we go through it. and i will kiss you goodbye. daffa's cleaning house. wearing a dress and jeans. my shoes are silver and pointy. and i like my new shirt. it shows off my back. and i like my back. actually i like backs in general. daffa's smoking cigarette number five. and im smoking cigarette one thousand. i like your arms. your skinny little arms. and you like my hips. i think i want to draw a picture of bonnie parker. bonnie parker is my idol. i think i may have been her in a past life. i want to be bonnie parker for halloween and you can be clyde barrow. or is it barrows. who really knows. last names are stupid anyway. jessamine gabrial ann sounds way better than jessamine gabrial ann perry. maybe ill draw us and bonnie parker and sylvia plath. remember when we tried to watch this movie but we just kept kissing instead? i ate way too much food tonight. im so full. i want to be crafty but it seems there is no one to be crafty with. i want to play with constrution paper and glitter and magazine cut-outs. and stay up all night smoking cigarettes and playing board games. i am such a child i know but i feel content with my childishness. i can still be a child, right? nothing will stop me from being a child and completly embracing my imagination. reality is boring. and if life's not about having fun and laughing then who wants to live? not me. i hate your sarcasm and you hate my cigarettes. my hair is poofy and kind of retro but i like it. the ladies at work say i look like im twenty five. they say "now you can go out and get a twenty five year old boyfriend." but i am quite content with my nineteen year old. i think perhaps i'll never eat again because i am so full right now. im just about over them. they aren't too cool for me anymore. life is good, although i wouldn't mind some lotion for my hands. the other night i cried and it was like a scene out of a movie. you were sleeping on the opposite side of the bed and i wore a sheer slip. i cried silently so that you wouldnt hear me. i didnt want your comfort but i think i needed it. i dont know why im so secretive. i'll try not be. im so sleepy. sorry about the nonsense but i like nonsense. nonsense is just my style.

ri-goddamn-diculous

2004-07-09T04:54:56Z

the whiskey just arrived and there's a lot more than we need. which is alright.

i miss my darling.

these kids are having a food fight.

we are visiting chicago soon

there's not much more going on.

a reckless jaffa is the best kind of jaffa.

2004-07-01T04:07:19Z

whiskey from tea cups.

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry.

i really am and i HATE lying to you.

daffa fucking calls me douche bag. lets paint our toe nails douche bag. you're my favourite douche bag. i'd douche with you everyday if i could, douche bag. knock over the whiskey bottle, slut.

just so you know: "AWWW SNAP!!!" is DEFINTILY NOT cool anymore.

mossy cities with a glassy atmosphere

2004-06-02T17:39:24Z

im just a baby.

i can handle it.

but right now i just want to dance.

kalamazoo

2004-05-30T22:40:44Z

things have been really shitty.

but whateva. i guess.

oh yeah..i have my consultation for my tattoo next sunday at three.

what are you wearing?

flapprsdieyoung @ 2004-05-24T09:06:00

2004-05-24T13:17:55Z

and last night i posed in front of the mirror for like an hour. i've discovered that my new jacket looks SUPER hot without a shirt under it. but it's a little too risque for me, im not sure if i could pull it off. maybe if i were french. oh well.

oh god spaghetti sounds fan-fucking-tastic right now.

"what's going to happen?" "oh i dont know, something."

2004-05-20T13:17:14Z

life is kind of funny i think.

isn't it strange the way everything works out?

in reality nothing ever really makes sense.

free (borrowed) kicks and a hot jacket.

2004-05-18T12:02:52Z

so i'm really tired. i hate that when i have the opportunity to sleep im not sleepy anymore.
anyway, im sick of sleeping alone.

yesterday we saved two baby birds. they are very very cute.

oh god i love dancing

2004-05-11T15:53:44Z

last night...we had an alright time:

we drank whiskey (....always always)
we screamed at the top of our drunk lungs "I LOVE EVERYONE!!!!!!" (well...i do)
we bowled (i never bowl)
we drank beer (i never drink beer)
and danced in the car (best dance session in the car EVER. EVER. EVER.)

so much fun. so much fun.

'cause bermuda and octavia are fun girls.
so they say.

cute dishes

2004-05-09T22:46:57Z

this cd is skipping and it's making me giggle.

i want beaded slippers. and ballet slippers.

i s'pose i am wearing a sombrero....

2004-05-06T02:31:31Z

i am acting silly and daffa is talking about bears and valentines day. things are so beautiful when you aren't completly sober. music and arms and walls. you and first crushes and such. tonight i love everyone and i am content with everything i have known and will ever know.